January 31st

At approximately 9:35pm tonight it will have been 7 years since I lost my dad.

I had almost forgotten until I looked out the window this morning to see the temperature on the pharmacy sign across the street, when the date, January 31st, flashed across the digital sign.

I thought of my mom for a moment, and then went for a run. I forgot again.

After running I sat on my living room floor, stretching and listening to my ipod when this song came on, and I remembered again.

Yesterdays
by Switchfoot

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I'm with you, I'll carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you're free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I'll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
So long my friend, so long



It's interesting: I really did have a dream about him the other night. I can't remember what happened, but I do remember he was helping me make an important decision, and and it felt so good, so natural, to have him there, guiding me with his words of wisdom.

I woke up feeling so content, so secure.

I miss that.

If you happen to read this today, please say a prayer for my family, especially my mom.