She Forgot to Take Her Pills Today...

Sometimes I forget that I'm in public.

Does that ever happen to you?

It happens to me every day.

I'm walking down the street and I'm thinking about something. I'm reliving a conversation that I had, whether recent or ancient history, perhaps thinking about what could have been said. I'm recreating an experience I once had and feeling all of the same sensations I felt back then. Or I'm preparing for an upcoming conversation and reviewing what I should and shouldn't say or do. Or, and this is what really gets me in trouble, I'm imagining a completely made up situation and all the things that could be said if that highly improbable situation were to ever come about.

I get so involved in my imagination that the next thing I know I'm walking down the street making faces and gestures in accordance with the action taking place in my mind.

If it's funny, I laugh or giggle silently.

If it's painfully awkward, I inhale through my teeth making a subtle hissing sound, or else exhale with puffed cheeks.

If it upsets me, I furrow my brow, or sometimes sigh heavily and roll my eyes.

If it's serious, I nod my head, purse my lips, or scratch my chin.

If I like the boy in my imaginary conversation (and let's face it, I usually do, or why else would I be having an imaginary conversation with him?), I blush, smile shyly and bite my lip.

The only problem is:

It's in my mind.

Nobody else can see or hear my mental dramatization so all they see is a girl walking down the street making all sorts of faces completely unaware that she's making those faces at the people in the street.

They probably think to themselves, "sure, she may look relatively normal now, but in 10 years, she'll be the bag lady with 6 cats who talks to light posts."

But they're wrong.

I hate cats.